Sex isn’t just about making a baby, but about intimacy, connection, and physical enjoyment. For many couples, sex during and after pregnancy is an entirely new experience, and it’s difficult to figure out how to navigate the changing circumstances.
In this guide, we will answer some of the most common questions asked about both sex during and after pregnancy. Spoilers: it’s 100% safe, but there are a few things you need to keep in mind.
Is Sex Safe?
In short, for most women, sex during and after your pregnancy should not be a cause for concern. Sex will not cause miscarriage, nor will penetration hurt your pregnancy.
In fact, most sexual activity is completely safe. If it is comfortable, feels good for both partners, and is fully consensual, sex can only be a positive thing for a couple.
But you will have to adapt your approach to physical intimacy as your pregnancy progresses. In your third trimester, for example, you may want to try different positions to ensure you are comfortable.
You may also notice changes to the ‘normal’ experience, also. For instance, you may experience spotting or cramps. This is completely normal, unless it is severe and persisting, or if the bleeding is very heavy. If this is the case, discuss it with your doctor.
Sex Feels Different, Is That Normal?
Your body is undergoing a lot of changes, which can affect how you experience sex. Your hormones and increased lubrication can lead to your vagina feeling not quite as tight as you’re used to. Conversely, your pelvic muscles can feel tighter, which can make penetrative sex very painful.
This does not mean you cannot have sex, however. For example, you can engage in other activities other than penetration. Alternatively, you may want to try increasing foreplay to improve the overall experience.
It’s not all bad news, however. Hormonal changes, in addition to increased blood blow, can also translate to experiencing orgasms more frequently. Your genitalia’s sensitivity can also increase, which can often lead to a higher libido and greater enjoyment during sex.
Sex After Pregnancy: When Can You Start?
Every woman is different. There are no rules you should follow, or a set schedule everyone can adhere to. It also very much depends on the nature and difficulty of the birthing process, which can affect your physical readiness for intercourse. In general, the recommended timescale is six weeks after giving birth, although many couples wait a lot longer than this for a multitude of reasons.
There is also an emotional component, which should not be underestimated. Pregnancy can have a severe mental health impact on women, which can also influence sexual activity. Do what is right for you, and don’t feel pressured to have sex before you are fully ready. It is perfectly normal to feel a reduced libido following your pregnancy.
Sex can also feel very different after pregnancy, so bear that in mind. Hormones may cause your vagina to feel more dry, for example. In this case, use a lubricant liberally prior to intercourse. Kegel exercises are also highly recommended, as they will help strengthen your vaginal muscles following childbirth.
When Should You Avoid Sex?
Firstly, talk to your midwife or doctor about sex during and after pregnancy. Make sure there are no circumstances specific to your situation that would affect sexual activity.
In most cases, there is nothing to worry about. However, there are some cases where sex is not recommended:
- You are pregnant with more than just one baby.
- You experience extensive bleeding. Light bleeding, on the other hand, is usually no cause for concern, and is simply a result of your cervix being more irritated than usual.
- Once your water breaks, do not have sex.
- Placenta previa causes your cervix to be either partially or fully covered by the placenta; avoid sex in this case.
- You have experienced preterm labor in a previous pregnancy.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
The most important part of the process is communication. Whether with your partner, midwife, or doctor, be transparent about your physical and mental wellbeing.
Remember, sex should be pleasurable. Even if there are no physical problems, it doesn’t mean you may struggle with sexual activity during and after pregnancy. Talk to your partner, tell them how you’re feeling, and ask for help when you need it.
Sex is Healthy!
You may be worried about having sex during this exciting (but challenging!) phase of your life, but we’ll leave you with an encouraging takeaway: sex is not only safe, but it’s very healthy.
It brings you closer to your partner, can lead to your hormones calming down a little bit, represents healthy cardiovascular activity, and has clear mental health benefits. Not only that, sex is also a benefit to the baby, as your improved physical condition is also theirs!
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