Birthday spankings are an outdated custom
I’ll never forget that college moment when I realised birthday spankings were unique. I was in our dorm with new buddies during my first semester. We were talking about our families, childhoods, and other intimate topics that make you bond.
We talked about birthdays and our favourite memories. You know, Discovery Zone parties, Barbie-themed birthday cakes, and our favourite gifts. We laughed about birthday mishaps.
We also discussed birthdays’ drawbacks. Even though Discovery Zone and Chuck E. Cheese were expensive, many of us still wanted the ideal birthday party at those businesses. I added, “Oh, and birthday spankings,” with an eye roll, expecting everyone to agree.
My mistake. My companion laughed and asked, “Wait, you got spanked on your birthday?” Seriously?” That prompted many inquiries. Who spanked? When was this? Was it retribution? Is your birthday still spanked?
“Um, so, none of you had birthday spankings?” I asked my new buddies, caught off guard. They shook their heads in disbelief.
I was alone. The only birthday spanking recipient. It opened my eyes to how diverse family customs can be.
Old-fashioned birthday spankings
It’s funny to remember those childhood birthdays with cake, presents, and those dreadful birthday spankings. I wasn’t alone in this custom. My cousins and sisters endured them. Our family’s rite of passage. “Are we the only family in America that does this?”
As I became older, I realised we weren’t alone in this weird tradition. Many families nationwide did the same thing. What’s really funnier is my friends’ reactions when I mention birthday spankings, especially college friends. From astonished silence to questioning and amazement, they usually react.
I know. A few lighthearted swats on someone’s birthday may seem odd or even uncomfortable to outsiders. However, once you’re part of the custom, it becomes more endearing. Our annual family quirk promotes fun and connection.
I’ll address some queries here
It’s funny how family customs can sound strange to outsiders. bday spankings. It’s strange, but they weren’t punishment in my youth. Instead, they were offbeat birthday celebrations.
Imagine this: on your birthday, your parents and siblings will playfully slap you once for each year. Eight gentle butts for turning eight. I laugh now, but it was all in good fun. Unless your mischievous siblings went too far when the parents weren’t watching, spankings weren’t supposed to harm. Ouch!
Laughter sticks out. It was fun when everyone laughed. It wasn’t odd or creepy—just part of the birthday experience. It wasn’t malicious or sexual. Another way we celebrated the momentous day.
Here’s the punchline. My family would pinch the butt and exclaim, “and a pinch to grow an inch!” after spankings. As the youngest and smallest in the family, I was the target of this recurring joke. My sisters’ pinches were real. They hurt more than spankings.
However, this birthday spanking never made me feel uncomfortable or abused. As a kid, I didn’t think much of our odd family ritual. As I got older, the spankings decreased, especially towards the end of elementary school. I don’t remember a cut-off age, but I assume the adults realised that you outgrow birthday spankings.
I wasn’t spanked on my birthdays in college. Those days were over. I won’t repeat that with my kids. Traditions vary, and what seems odd to one generation may not to the next. My childhood birthday spankings were fun, but they’re gone.
For starters, we don’t spank our kids. Ever. Why would we start on their birthday?
I don’t remember feeling uncomfortable about it as a youngster, but as an adult, discussing it makes me uncomfortable. It’s funny how others often react strangely to the idea of birthday spankings. If I hadn’t experienced them during my upbringing, I might have found it odd too.
My parents’ birthday spankings were more playful than painful. Those spankings from my sisters hurt! My parents’ memories are enjoyable, whereas my sisters’ are uncomfortable.
However, discussing it now feels strange. Growing up changes our perspectives, right?
Why would I want to encourage my children to hurt each other—on their birthdays, no less?
My kids won’t get birthday spankings. It’s a tradition I don’t want to pass on.
